Not so bad to turn into your parents

 

 

　　

 

　　

        My orthopedic surgeon took a few Pringle-like bone shards out of my knee this summer. I made a good recovery, and at our knee-review appointment I asked him if I could go back to playing tennis.

　　"Well," he said, "that depends on whether you have your mother's knees or your father's knees." My father played doubles until he was 80; my mother suffered so from arthritis and stenosis that she spent her last years shuffling with a walker.

　　I peered at my legs. The general shape was my mother's, but I didn't know to whom my knee joints really belonged. "You'll find out," the doc said cheerfully.

　　This is what it comes to, in middle age. What do you have that you're stuck with and what do you have that may prove useful and how much room to grow and change and mitigate will you give yourself?

　　When I was around 10, I had an ongoing fantasy of my grown-up life. I lived in a white farmhouse on a hill. Every room was filled with books, and my beautiful English sheepdog, Sydney, lay on the living room window seat. There was no drooling and no shedding. There was also no visible or audible husband, although I had a couple of cute, nearly silent babies. The house was immaculate, and no one did any housework.

　　In real life, my parents also had a lot of books, and the resemblance ended there.

　　Forty years later, I have a nice house -- not as pretty as the one I imagined because I had not, at 10, figured on mortgages, recessions, and the cost of college tuitions -- and no dog, and no wish for a dog. The children are still cute, even beautiful, and grown and rarely silent, and my husband is visible and talkative and not at all what I expected.

　　So, what now? Just as I once saw a life that was as close to Not-My-Parents as possible, I see a future in which my parents' habits and strengths and weaknesses poke up determinedly like weeds through the sidewalk of the next ten years.

　　The one thing every parent wants

　　I hope I wind up with my father's cheerful, if impenetrable, view of himself. My father thought, until the day he died, that the way he was, was just fine.

　　Unable to read the newspaper's small print and memory failing? My father declared that as many people got older, they became less interested in world affairs, and he was one of those people. He found it harder to walk around and harder to hear, so he improved his relationship with Bev, his aide at the assisted living facility, and decided he was tired of the dining room hubbub.

　　He said -- and he knew -- that he had been a lucky and successful man who made his life as he wished it to be and refused to feel diminished by the losses of old age. I'd like that staunch satisfaction, for me.

　　I would not like his inability to sustain relationships -- for the relationship gene, I turn to my mother. My mother had friends from the third grade.

　　When she was maybe 70, we were walking up Madison Avenue and a man about her age hailed us from across the street. "Dellie Cohen! James Madison High!" She didn't really remember him, but he remembered her. They caught up. "Everyone loved your mother," he said. "They still do." ("Ma," I said later, "you were the rock star of James Madison High!" She smiled.)

　　My mother had weekly conversations with at least six friends. She went on vacations and all-girl getaways about twice a year. She wrote long, fond letters to her grandchildren, bought things that I didn't need and foisted them on me regularly, and kept up with everyone who mattered to her -- in a meaningful way -- for 80 years. I would like that for me, too.

　　Neither of my parents complained about their physical health or other problems, and I am hoping to copy that as well. But there are other ancestral traits I have to watch out for, and I can sometimes feel their ivy twining around me.

　　All my aunts, and my mother, began dyeing their hair as soon as it had more than a sprinkle of gray, and I do, too. But I check in with my daughters, regularly, to make sure that I have not followed in the suddenly-ash-blonde delusion that my mother was so fond of.

　　Most important, my parents were not, for much of their marriage, happy with each other. Even when I was 10, and even with their dance trophies, I could see that. Their troubles led me to a too-early marriage and a painful divorce, but they have also led me to a very happy marriage -- and a couples therapist on retainer.

5 ways to make a great second impression

　　

 

　　

　　Recently, I was invited to meet with an important CEO for a second time. In our first meeting, we hit it off like old friends and he remarked that my insight into his business was spot-on.

　　It would be easy to assume that because our rapport was strong that our second meeting may lead to prosperous rewards -- a consulting job for me and a highly connected friend in my network. However, instead of thinking, "This will be a piece of cake," I knew that I needed to spend some quality time preparing for our second meeting.

　　In my research, the second impression is just as important as the first. We put too much weight into the first impression and assume that's all that counts. We get lazy, thinking that the encore performance is a freebie that will obviously turn out well, "because we dig each other, right?" Don't kid yourself. You will never win someone over completely with one great meeting.

　　In relationships, business and social situations, I've found the second meeting to be the hardest of all. This is especially true when the first meeting went well.

　　While psychologists are right that a first impression that is extreme, be it positive or negative, sets the tone for a relationship, it doesn't define its boundaries or potential. Subsequent encounters determine the real quality of any relationship. Yet, sadly, we don't train people for this. When the second meeting goes so-so, others cool off, making it hard to ever have a third one.

　　 Speak up to get what you really want

　　Here's what's really going on: During a first meeting, people decide if we are likable (familiar, nice, relatable). Once that hurdle is crossed, they look for a connection, the person's value and can feel empathy. Being relevant to someone's needs or interests takes the relationship to the next level.

　　Even in job interviews, the first encounter shapes up your social fit, and subsequent interviews determine your competency. If the first meeting goes wonderfully, expectations often increase, making the second meeting even harder. A fluffy second interview can frustrate a hiring manager under pressure to find a top producer. The same goes for your personal life from first dates to first encounters with the in-laws. If your second meeting is lacking, he is wondering, "What happened to her?" He was looking find some common ground to take things to the next level, and instead they got a repeat performance.

      How to nail a job interview

　　Over the past few years, I've come up with five simple tips that will help you have a great second meeting and take your new relationships to the next level. This advice is slanted to those that are following up on a great first impression.

　　1. Remember the details of the first meeting. This is also the golden rule of being a good conversationalist or customer oriented--company. People are irritated when they have to repeat themselves. If you don't give them your respect and full attention, why should they do the same for you?

　　One way to do this is to journal the details of any great first impression. Note what was said, what was learned and how people felt about the conversation. Names are the most important thing to remember, especially those of the family and friends of your meeting partners. If you learned something from the last meeting, start at that piece of insight during the second meeting.

　　 How to start a conversation with anyone

　　2. Try not to repeat yourself too much. Everyone has his or her "greatest hits" of stories, jokes and observations. In many situations, this arsenal of entertainment produces a great first meeting. Your homespun story may make people laugh till they cry the first time, but the second time you tell them, they will check their email on their BlackBerry. Prior to the second meeting, recollect the details of the first.

　　I always have a bullet-point outline of my meeting or talk, including what stories or jokes I told and even what I wore that day! Bring some novelty to the second time around by bringing some fresh content.

　　Be willing to take requests if you are asked to repeat parts of your first meeting for new eyes and ears.

　　3. Over prepare. As much as you prepped yourself for the first meeting, give as much or more effort for the second. Conditions change, audiences change and contemporary events change your value proposition/premise.

　　Before the second meeting, research these changes and let the dialogue from meeting one give you fodder for a much deeper dive into the details in preparation for meeting two.

　　4. Be grateful for the chance to meet again. If it's a meeting for business, be grateful for the airtime. For your best potential partners, time is worth more than money. Same goes for paid engagements (from consulting to services). It's a tough market out there, and you should give some extra heart to people who give you double repeat business.

　　Don't take them for granted or think you are some kind gift to the world that they're giving homage to. Be very humble about the encore and show some real gratitude. Meditate for a minute on it when you first wake up the day of the second meeting.

　　5. Take it to the next level. Don't just think of this as another meeting. Life is short, so do your best to convert this warm and fuzzy transaction into a powerful relationship. Raise the bar on your encore performance. In business, move from getting-to-know-you to let's-make-something happen-now. In personal situations, move from getting-to-know you to some kind of real progress in the relationship.

　　Here's my promise: If you'll add this to your arsenal of relationship-building wisdom, you'll have a real advantage over those who are only interested is making a good first impression.

　　How did my second meeting with that CEO go? Much better than the first, and I think we are now in biz-love.

My Take: On fear, faith and being gay

 

　　

　　

　　As a young girl, I learned to read music. The scattered black dots on the page, successfully decrypted and performed, began to make more vivid the world around me. I began to discover the private, personal and strange journeys that playing music had to offer. I listened, I sang, I played, and I began to write songs of my own. For me, music has become the tool through which the meditations of my soul find deeper peace and understanding.

　　As a young adult, I began to pursue a purposed life of faith centered on the teachings of Jesus. Many would say that I "became" a Christian. Curious, passionate and confounded, I entered my local evangelical Protestant church with a new appreciation for my spiritual self and participated with full fervor. There too, I experienced music as a gift that could draw out the deeper cries of not just my heart, but the hearts of others as well.

　　More and more, my spiritual pursuit began to be reflected by the songs I was writing. I laid down the questions of my faith I was too embarrassed to share aloud, or worse, uninvited to speak of openly. The songs I wrote directly pertaining to my faith were warmly greeted and celebrated in my church. Soon I found myself with more invitations to play my little songs. Starting in local churches and humble country sanctuaries, onto summer camps, college campuses and conferences of faith; I didn’t know it, but I was becoming a “Christian artist.”

　　Almost exclusively, I was playing in and around churches - Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Episcopalian, Catholic - and some churches that had no recognizable denominational affiliation other than a cross over their door. Where I began thinking that all Christians were alike, I quickly discovered that they were not. They all spoke of Jesus the same, but their practices and traditions, their “do’s and don’ts,” could be vastly different.

　　As confounding as this was to me, I learned to respect the houses where I was asked to play, learned to listen a bit more closely, and even more, learned to appreciate the diverse styles and methods with which many people process their spiritual journey. As the invited but alien artist, it often fell upon me to find our commonality, to sing of what we could mutually share and celebrate.

　　Through trial and error, offense and blessing, I learned that not even a Christian could be solely judged by his cover. Blundering assumptions about how I thought one church might believe, or even how one single congregant among them might believe, only left me an agent of offense. I began to recognize the intense personal nature of each individual’s specific spiritual journey. I began to see the powerful protection a community of faith could be for the fragile and broken. I also have seen the tragic emotional and spiritual devastation brought upon those who sought only compassion and were greeted with condemnation in times of utmost vulnerability.

　　All this I have seen, when I just wanted to play music. I just wanted to explore my faith. I simply wanted to meet others, converse, encourage and learn about how to be ... well, a meaningful person. I have definitely found myself in the midst of an adventure I would have never imagined or called for.

　　This was the world I found myself in when I realized I was gay. After years of subtle comments, wary glances and leading encouragement to get married and have babies, I was fully aware that I had a foot in the door of some houses that were about to be slammed. At the same time, I had experienced years of rich and fulfilling dialogue with many people of faith who taught me the soft landings of compassion. Still, it was hard not to respond to the fear. I questioned whether my faith had betrayed me, or I if had a betrayed my faith. I wondered if music was a ruse and could unite no one.

　　Like wistful balloons loosed to the wind, I was about to release both faith and music, but I could not release what I had learned.

　　Where music had led me to very strange lands, full of people with differing faith practices, cultural expectations, gender roles and more ... it had taught me to listen. Through the torrent of life’s confusion and seeming incongruities, there is a spirit, a song, that if we strain hard enough, we can hear. What we can hear, when we listen, is how we are much the same.

　　From time to time, a song catches our ear and we follow it outside of our usual haunts. We stumble out of our chosen sanctuaries and toward the source of sound that seems to reveal our heart’s longing. It is only when we get there that we can see the diversity of the many who were called by the same tune. Will we be encouraged to see we are not alone? Shamed that we do not want to share it with others differing from ourselves? Or will we simply listen?

Regional flavors may be a click away

 

　

　　

        Hungry for the comforting food you grew up with? Thanks to some enterprising online retailers, your favorite regional flavors may be just a click away.

　　Cookbook authors Matt and Ted Lee now split their time between New York and their childhood hometown of Charleston, South Carolina. But adjusting to the Big Apple wasn't easy at first for the two brothers.

　　During their first New York winter in 1994, the Lee brothers suffered from serious twinges of homesickness. They sought solace in a childhood favorite -- the unroasted, saltwater-boiled peanuts sold by roadside vendors back home.

　　After procuring 50 pounds of raw peanuts from a Bronx produce market, they set a portion to boiling in a stockpot on the stove.

　　"Within minutes of our return, the apartment began to fill with steam that smelled like hay, sweet potatoes and tea; about eight hours later, we were cracking the peanut shells, with brine running over our hands, and slurping the nuts down," the two wrote in their James Beard Award-winning "The Lee Bros. Southern Cookbook" (W.W. Norton & Co.).

　　The heavenly taste of the peanuts transported them home.

　　"Their earthy, beanlike flavor, in that cramped room overlooking the heroin dealers and hipsters on Ludlow Street, conjured up the creek banks and marshes south of Charleston. The feeling of having cheated geography through food was exhilarating," they wrote.

　　A legume-selling obsession began as the brothers sought to share the special treat. The Lees took to the streets -- and then a printed catalog and eventually set up a website, boiledpeanuts.com -- selling the peanuts and other regional staples such as sorghum molasses, pickled artichokes and watermelon rind and stone-ground grits to displaced Southerners all over the country.

　　But the South hardly has a corner on marketing to hometown appetites in other states.

　　A server at the Who's On Third Deli & Grill in Spring Lake, New Jersey, was recently overheard advising a former native about where to buy the region's signature processed ham, known as pork roll.

　　Said she, "I know there's a website that sells it to people who miss it. Wish I'd thought of that -- I'd make a million dollars."

　　She'd have to woo customers away from other pork roll online providers such as Jersey Boy Pork Roll, House of Pork Roll and Jersey Pork Roll -- all of which cater to the tastes of transplanted Garden Staters, with the latter offering East Coast favorites such as Tastykake and Drake's snack cakes, Fralinger's Salt Water Taffy and Sabrett's hot dogs.

　　The website hones hunger pangs with a page sharing loyal patrons' memories of Taylor Pork Roll.

　　Grateful customer Lynn Cruse of Lock Haven, Pennsylvania, remembers her family's yearly stop at Atlantic City's Taylor Pork Roll booth.

　　"Dad, a connoisseur of all delicious foods, felt the experience was worth the expense. We would each get a sandwich and I remember eating it as slowly as I could, savoring each delicious bite, knowing the memory of the sandwich would have to last a whole year. Although my dad passed several years ago, when I savor one of your delicious pork roll sandwiches, I feel him with me."

　　Soda fans misty for New England's classic Moxie, Kentucky's Ale-8-1 or Michigan favorite Vernors Ginger Ale can get their fix via Virginia Beach-based online retailer, the aptly named The Hard To Find Grocer.

　　The company, founded in 1996, specializes in regional favorites that traditional grocery stores might not sell enough of to justify shelf room. As the physical space is a warehouse not open to the public, there's plenty of room for New Orleans' Zatarain's Creole Mustard and Greenville, South Carolina's Duke's Mayonnaise -- an essential in many Southern recipes -- alongside pickles from Toledo's Tony Packo's and Rhode Island's indigenous coffee syrup Autocrat.

　　Devotees of particular products can either click over to aggregators of regional products, such as cincinnatifavorites, cajungrocer, tastesofchicago, newyorkfirst or themississippigiftcompany or go straight to the source.

　　Classic brands such as North Carolina's Cheerwine soft drink and Chattanooga Bakery's MoonPie, both established in the early 1900s, have embraced online marketing and selling to keep up with the demands of their widespread clientele.

　　And these indulgences come at a price. Often, small producers cannot ship throughout the entire year -- for instance vendors of Buffalo's Sponge Candy cannot subject their delicate, heat-sensitive delicacy to higher temperatures throughout the summer -- or must tack on shipping charges that may be equal or higher than the items being shipped. Still, homesick eaters are more than willing to shell out for their beloved treats.

　　"Nostalgia is a major ingredient, and then the comforting effect that familiar foods have on the psyche. We tend to take the flavors of our upbringing for granted until we move away -- then they become priceless experiences," Ted Lee told CNN.

　　Some favorite dishes don't translate to those who didn't grow up treasuring them.

　　This writer's husband was less than impressed by the the traditional Cincinnati-style, Greek-influenced Skyline Chili she'd ordered online and served as a "Four Way" with cheese and onions over spaghetti, while she blanches at the sugar shock of his beloved North Carolina sweet tea.

　　But that's not the end of the world. It just means you won't have to share your favorites.

Ninth worker death at Taiwan iPhone firm Foxconn

　　

　　

The firm makes products for Apple and other technology brands A ninth employee has jumped to his death at Taiwanese iPhone manufacturer Foxconn, China's state media reports.

　　Xinhua said 21-year-old Nan Gang leapt from a four-storey factory in the earl

　　

y hours, soon after finishing work.

Shortly after, it emerged that the death of a worker at a Foxconn plant in Hebei province earlier this year was also a suicide.

　　A total of 11 Foxconn employees have tried to kill themselves this year - two have survived.

　　The incidents have raised concerns about worker treatment at the site.

　　The Associated Press quoted spokesman Arthur Huang as saying the company carried out social responsibility programmes to ensure workers' welfare.

　　Earlier this week, Foxconn said it was enlisting counsellors and Buddhist monks to provide emotional support for its workers.

　　Suicides

　　Ten of the employees worked at Foxconn's campuses in Shenzhen, but on Friday it was revealed that a man who died at a factory in the northern Hebei province had also jumped from a building.

　　The worker, identified by Xinhua as 19-year old Rong Bo, died in the city of Langtang early this year.

　　A similar investigation into the death of 16-year old Wang Lingyan - who was found dead in a dormitory at the same site - concluded she died from cardiac arrest, government spokeswoman Wang Qiunu told Xinhua.

　　

Foxconn worker Sun Danyong killed himself last year Foxconn is part of Hon Hai Precision, the world's largest maker of consumer electronics, and employs 800,000 workers worldwide, mostly in China.

　　The company has said it is taking the deaths seriously, even though a local government investigation did not blame working conditions.

　　The spate of deaths comes after a Foxconn employee in charge of shipping Apple's iPhone prototype units killed himself last year after one of the units went missing.

　　Apple said it had investigated accusations of bad employment practices by Foxconn stemming from a June 2006 complaint, and found the claims to be largely unfounded.

　　Monk support

　　However, it concluded that some employees were working more than Foxconn's mandated maximum during peak production times, and as many as a quarter of them were not taking at least one day off a week.

　　US-based China Labour Watch has criticised Foxconn's "military-style administration and harsh working conditions" and called on the company to "initiate a thoroughgoing analysis of life on its production lines".

　　Foxconn says it has hired 100 counsellors and invited monks to help workers at a new Employee Care Centre and trained its medical staff to provide emotional support.

　　It has also introduced a reward system for employees who spot colleagues with emotional problems, and a hotline for workers.

Katie Melua brings her house up to date

　　

　

The House, is Melua's fourth album, is the first not produced by Mike Batt Katie Melua, 25, says that with new album The House - her first without manager and mentor Mike Batt - she wanted to "experiment with myself as a human being".

　　Batt, 61 - who wrote Art Garfunkel smash Bright Eyes and is the man behind 1970s cartoon pop stars The Wombles - composed her two best-known hits The Closest Thing To Crazy and Nine Million Bicycles as well as producing her first three albums.

　　William Orbit, best known for his work with artists including Madonna, Blur and All Saints, produced the album while Batt has an executive producer credit.

　　Here, Melua talks about biscuits providing inspiration, selling albums to the older generations and writing with sometime Robbie Williams collaborator Guy Chambers.

　　Why William Orbit?

　　Mike sent William four of the tracks. He just heard the tracks and he liked them and that was kind of it.

　　I liked the sound of it because here's a guy who's more from the electronic/dance world, but the song out of those four tracks that he loved most was I'd Love To Kill You. It was the most acoustic, organic-sounding song out of those four.

　　Was there a sense that Mike Batt, with all his experience, had guided you through your early career and now it was time to stand on your own two feet?

　　It was two people being equally totally involved with the record and I always used to think that it was unfair that it was just my name on the front cover.

　　

Mike Batt is the man behind The Wombles records It really should have been Katie Melua and Mike Batt or we should have come up with a band name.

　　I think he really loves the new album. He's been there from the beginning - he was there with helping me work with the songwriters, with the songs.

　　There were sometimes when I had to say to him: 'Listen, I really believe in these songs and I need to take them to the final stage and we can decide whether they're right or not'.

　　Our collaboration is such that we trust each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

　　There's a perception that you sell albums to generations older than your own. Is that true?

　　I think it has been probably, especially in England.

　　Continue reading the main story

　　You just can't worry about what people are gonna think because, if you worry about it, it would just make me have a nervous breakdown.

　　We never really marketed it to a young generation.

　　But also, because there wasn't big beats on there, there wasn't the current way of making music, it was more traditional, it was more organic.

　　So, yeah, things just panned out that way, I think.

　　Are you trying to attract a new, younger audience?

　　That would be absolutely lovely but, as far as I'm concerned, it'll be a side effect because I've already gotten what I want which is to make an album that I'm really proud of and one that's taken me to new places in my mind.

　　I don't really make an album thinking about audience. That would just give you the biggest block ever.

　　If you try and think about anyone apart from you liking it then you're just screwed.

　　Are you worried that you might alienate some of your older fans with your new sound?

　　You just can't worry about what people are going to think because, if you worry about it, it would just make me have a nervous breakdown.

　　I'm just happy with it and I feel like I've done my job and now I'm excited about introducing it to people.

　　If it challenged me, I expect my fans to be challenged by it too - I like them to be shocked and intrigued and surprised.

　　How did you find working with Guy Chambers?

　　

Melua will tour Europe in the autumn One of the most incredible things that I loved about working with him was he's so easy about the process of writing. He doesn't deliberate over it too much.

　　Sometimes when I write on my own I can get really bogged down with it.

　　But he just writes. It's so simple. The process is simple and I found myself writing easily then.

　　Do you tend to overthink things?

　　I have done in the past a lot. He's one of the people that I've worked with who's taught me that there's no need to do that.

　　Basically, it's about completely trusting yourself that you are at one with your talent.

　　Even if you say, 'I eat biscuits' - if that's what's come in to your head at that moment, that is a point of inspiration.

　　Katie Melua's new single The Flood is out now. Album The House is out on on Monday 24 May.

Battle of the Bernabeu

　　

　　Uefa Champions League final: Bayern Munich v Inter Milan

　　Venue: Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid Date: Saturday, 22 May Kick-off: 1945 BST

　　Coverage: Full commentary on BBC Radio 5 Live, live text commentary on BBC Sport website. Live on ITV 1 and Sky Sports 1

　　

　

　　In many ways, this has been the ultimate season of personal vindication for Jose Mourinho.

　　Reviled by the majority of the Italian media and opposition fans, he has led Inter Milan to the league and cup double, scoring more goals than any team in the country, and become a legend in the eyes of the black and blue half of the San Siro in the process.

　　Three years after leaving Chelsea under something of a cloud, the self-appointed 'Special One' dumped them out of the Champions League at the quarter-final stage 3-1 on aggregate - a score that barely reflected his side's dominance over two legs.

　　Overlooked by the Barcelona hierarchy 18 months ago in favour of Josep Guardiola and taunted by a Barcelona fanbase as 'The Translator' in mocking tribute to his time at the club as an advisor during the 1990s, his Inter side dumped them out of the Champions League semi-finals with a performance that was testimony to the Portuguese's skills of preparation, motivation and man-management.

　　Now, in Saturday's final against Bayern Munich, he has the chance to eclipse another of his former superiors Louis van Gaal.

　　Van Gaal - a man under whom he worked at Barcelona in the 1990s. A man challenging him to become only the third man, after Ernst Happel and Ottmar Hitzfeld, to win the Champions League with two different clubs.

　　

The final is a match between a team who wants to play football and a team who just wants to stop football

　　Bayern winger Arjen Robben

　　And a man who upped the ante ahead of the final by claiming to be the better manager of the two, saying: "He (Mourinho) trains to win. I train to play beautiful football and win. My way is more difficult."

　　It is a fascinating match-up: Van Gaal the master against Mourinho the former apprentice.

　　The pair first met when Van Gaal was appointed as Bobby Robson's successor at Barcelona in 1997 - and it was an encounter that made a lasting impression on the Dutchman.

　　Upon learning he was about to become surplus to requirements at the Nou Camp, Mourinho reacted furiously, telling then president Josep Lluis Nunez that he deserved to be kept on because of the role he had played in the club's successes in the Spanish Cup, Spanish Super Cup and European Cup Winners' Cup.

　　"Mourinho was very angry," recalled Van Gaal. "He was very irritated and shouted. That was impressive for me, because he had emotions and he was right.

　　"I asked him to be the coach, the trainer, because he knew the team and he could help me. He said 'yes' and stayed three years with me.

　　"He analysed all the games for me and did it very well. He took the individual training sessions and I also let him coach the games of the Copa Catalunya. He won it."

　　It proved a profitable relationship. Working together, the pair led Barcelona to successive La Liga titles and another Spanish Cup triumph.

　　And the successes kept coming for Mourinho when he became a manager in his own right in 2000, replacing Jupp Heyneckes as boss of Benfica.

　　He has won six league titles in three countries, plus eight domestic trophies, a Uefa Cup and a Champions League.

　　It is a CV that would cast most others' into shade, but not Van Gaal's.

　　The 58-year-old Dutchman has seven league titles in three countries to his name, plus seven domestic trophies, a Uefa Cup, two Super Cups, an Intercontinental Cup and a Champions League triumph.

　　He also managed the Netherlands for two years, although the Dutch failed to qualify for the 2002 World Cup during his tenure.

　　Now Van Gaal and Mourinho will face-off for the top prize in club football.

　　If the critics - and Van Gaal - are to be believed, it is a final between two managers with very different ideologies. The Dutchman is a purveyor of quality and expansive football, while the Portuguese is the definitive "win at all costs" merchant.

　　Bayern winger Arjen Robben, who played under Mourinho at Chelsea, certainly believes the two men approach football in differing ways.

　　"Mourinho puts out a winning team, it doesn't matter if it's done with nice football or not," said Robben. "The philosophy at Bayern is the coach wants to win games by playing nice football."

　　And he added: "The final is a match between a team who wants to play football and a team who just wants to stop football."

　　

　　Mourinho and Van Gaal face each other for the first time in Saturday's final

　　It is a criticism rejected by Mourinho, though. Talking to The Times newspaper, he said: "It's so unfair if somebody thinks that Inter is a defensive team.

　　"A football team is made of balance. I don't believe in a crazy attacking team, I don't believe in a crazy defensive team. My Porto had balance, my Chelsea had balance, and we have balance in this team. Football is made about balance."

　　A look at the two teams also suggests a slight blurring of the artist v architect argument.

　　Mourinho's Inter regularly lines up in an attacking 4-2-3-1 formation, centred around revitalised playmaker Wesley Schneider and utilising the verve of Samuel Eto'o, Goran Pandev and Diego Milito.

　　In his side's Champions League matches at home to Barcelona and Chelsea, it was Inter's tour de force in attack, not defence, that saw them triumph.

　　In fact, only an injury to Pandev in the warm-up and the sending-off of Thiago Motta prompted Inter's defensive show against Barca in the second leg - a match that saw Inter not so much park a bus in front of goal as "an aeroplane", recalled Mourinho.

　　And Van Gaal has been no less opportunistic in his year in charge in Germany. With Bayern down in eighth place in the Bundesliga as recently as November, he overhauled a side that already boasted 11 new signings from the summer.

　　Out went the likes of keeper Michael Rensing, full-back Edson Braafheid, midfielder Anatoliy Tymoschuk and big-money strikers Mario Gomez and Luca Toni.

　　In came veteran Hans-Jorg Butt, youngsters Holger Badstuber and Thomas Muller, while Van Gaal placed a deeper reliance on the likes of Robben, Bastien Schweinsteiger and Phillip Lahm.

　　

606: DEBATE

　　My step-son supports Inter and he was overjoyed when Jose arrived at the San Siro. I told him, you WILL win trophies, but it wont be pretty to watch... how right I have been

　　willet brooks

　　Like Inter, Bayern have won the league and cup double this season, but as European football expert Gabrielle Marcotti noted: "At Ajax and Barcelona, where Mr van Gaal did his best work, his teams were known for a swashbuckling attacking style. This Bayern team is somewhat different, more balanced and risk-averse."

　　In 34 Bundesliga games, Bayern scored 72 goals, compared to Inter's 75 in 38 Serie A games. In Europe, Bayern have scored 21 goals, Inter 15, but the Germans have lost to Manchester United, Fiorentina and Bordeaux (twice) while only Barca (twice) have beaten Inter.

　　It all makes for a promising clash - the final few expected.

　　Bayern fans, certainly, would not have dared dream of reaching the final when they lost home and away to eventual quarter-finalists Bordeaux in the group stages.

　　Inter, too, must have feared the worst when they drew with Dynamo Kiev, Rubin Kazan and then lost to Barcelona in three of their first five games in this season's competition.

　　And yet the expertise of Van Gaal and Mourinho has helped mould two teams settled in their approach, brimming with confidence and on the brink of an historic treble.

　　Van Gaal's influence over Mourinho is not lost on the Portuguese, who admitted: "He gave me confidence. He was very important in my development."

　　But in response to Van Gaal's claims that he is a defensive tactician, Mourinho betrayed his sense of rivalry, describing the Dutchman's claims as like "throwing sand in your eyes".

　　Mourinho is the critics' and bookies' choice to emerge victorious from Saturday's contest.

　　Throw in the fact that the final will be played at the Bernabeu - home of Real Madrid and, purportedly, Mourinho from next season - and the backstory to an already tantalising encounter only deepens.

　　But, for the moment, only one question needs answering - can Mourinho lead Inter past Bayern and to a first European Cup since 1965?

　　"It would be an incredible achievement because the level of the competition is so high and our road to the final was an incredible road," he insisted.

　　"But we will play the final not with an obsession but with a dream."

　　And a dream it would be if the 'Special One' emerges from Saturday's final victorious, the treble in hand, and a score very much settled between protege and teacher.